Pretty much sure I can say I’ve never seen charlie talk with such enthusiasm on MSN or on Google Talk. Or probably even face-to-face?
When Eka and I came back from Calgary last year with my reminiscences of my friend (and the city) already accumulating, she suggested that the three of us get in touch more often, and he and I not just talk about geek things. So we formed a LINE group and I found, well perhaps surprisingly, that he could use intimacy. And then, on two different occasions, we sent, via expensive international mail, chocolates to him. At first, I wasn’t really certain he’d like it — after all, I actually didn’t know much his preference outside of the geeksphere, like for specific cuisines or clothes, and this ideation was further superimposed by the fact that he had no stomach. So when he expressly said he liked — and even enjoyed — the chocolates, I felt complicated.
It’s not that I’ve never mailed or brought goods to Calgary… but really, most of the time I did that because of nominal social etiquette, or because he specifically requested for them. But then Eka reminded me about how strenuous his life might have been — perhaps even before he got gastric cancer as we all know inharmonious lifestyles can contribute to cancer — and he’d never have enough many a friend, especially someone who’s been there for more than ten years yet has little conflicts of (whatever kinds of) interest. And then I kinda realized that I could have been bringing more humane sides of mine into our friendship and took more proactive care for him. And then it’s now all too late. What remains I can do nowadays is merely to internationally mail confectioneries — not even made by me — and probably a handwritten letter, and to chat within the same timezones.
But then, yeah, it’s always nonsensical to look back for the past decade and regret on doing too little. Just I’ll do more from now on.
It’s always such a pleasure
Remember when I tried
to flee from the city twice?
When I left San Diego, I had deemed it not impossible that I’d one day come back to live in the U.S. Just that I never foresaw it would be that I am here for my spouse, and that I can neither study nor work here.
And needless to say, it is totally beyond of my original belief now I’m living in the New York. Yes, the number one city I hate in the entire country.
Lower manhattan, at that.
Years passed and endless streams of tourists are still joining the crowded cityscape. Given the still nasty and foul-smelling streets, it is more literal than figurative if I say I still can’t breathe in this city. The subway stations and the trains still scorch in summer and how I wish the trashes on the tracks may transform into wireless connectivity, or whatsoever.
Flushing still takes more than a hell full hour to reach. But that doesn’t really matter — cuisines are out of my concern. Appreciating my surroundings is of my least responsibility.
Now, let’s survive the tests.
Oh how we laughed and laughed
Except I wasn’t laughing
Under the circumstances
I’ve been shockingly nice