最近快把My Sister's Keeper看完了。不消說，原文。
我唯一不滿的是，他的Grand mal seizure居然正是他離開Julia的原因；這太落入愛情小說的俗套了。也罷，又不是主線劇情（笑）。
今天在公車上聽到一位中年婦人（操控iPod nano時必須把眼鏡推上額頭的中年）戴著耳機，哼著Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World。我第一次聽到這首輕快的歌，是高三時，Aselin Debison的翻唱版本。這位中年婦人的歌聲和Debison一樣甜美（是的，甜美），真好。
那麼節錄一段剛剛提過的My Sister's Keeper，作為這篇網誌的結束。至於最近的照片，請自己去面冊看。
ps. 在這裡有志吃遍所有的Häagen-Dazs口味。昨天新買到Limited Edition的Amaretto Almond Crunch。我本來是不愛杏仁，但這罐還不錯吃。甜甜的。
THE ONLY THING COMPARABLE to the aftermath of a grand mal seizure is waking up on the pavement with a hangover from the mother of all frat parties and immediately being run over by a truck. On second thought, maybe a grand mal is worse. I am covered in my own filth, hooked up to medicine and falling apart at the seams, when Julia walks toward me. "It's a seizure dog," I say.
"No kidding." Julia holds out her hand for Judge to sniff. She points to the couch beside me. "Can I sit down?"
"It's not catching, if that's what you mean."
"It wasn't." Julia comes close enough that I can feel the heat from her shoulder, inches away from mine. "Why didn't you tell me, Campbell?"
"Christ, Julia, I didn't even tell my parents." I try to look over her shoulder into the hallway. "Where's Anna?"
"How long has this been going on?"
I try to get up, and manage to lift myself a half inch before my strength gives out. " I have to get back in there."
I sigh. "A while."
"A while, as in a week?"
Shaking my head, I say, "A while, as in two days before we graduated from Wheeler." I look up at her. "The day I took you home, all I wanted was to be with you. When my parents told me I had to go to that stupid dinner at the country club, I followed them in my own car, so I could make a quick escape—I was planning on driving back to your house, that night. But on the way to dinner, I got into a car accident. I came through with a few bruises, and that night, I had the first seizure. Thirty CT scans later, the doctors still couldn't really tell me why, but they made it pretty clear I'd have to live with it forever." I take a deep breath. "Which is what made me realize that no one else should have to."
"What do you want me to say, Julia? I wasn't good enough for you. You deserved better than some freak who might fall down frothing at the mouth any old minute."
Julia goes perfectly still. "You might have let me make up my own mind."
"What difference would it have made? Like you really would have gotten great satisfaction guarding me like Judge does when it happens; wiping up after me, living at the end of my life." I shake my head. "You were so incredibly independent. A free spirit. I didn't want to be the one who took that away from you."
"Well, if I'd had the choice, maybe I wouldn't have spent the past fifteen years thinking there was something the matter with me."
"You?" I start to laugh. "Look at you. You're a knockout. You're smarter than I am. You're on a career track and you're family-centered and you probably even can balance your checkbook."
"And I'm lonely, Campbell," Julia adds. "Why do you think I had to learn to act so independent? I also get mad too quickly, and I hog the covers, and my second toe is longer than my big one. My hair has its own zip code. Plus, I get certifiably crazy when I've got PMS. You don't love someone because they're perfect," she says. "You love them in spite of the fact that they're not."
I don't know how to respond to that; it's like being told after thirty-five years that the sky, which I've seen as a brilliant blue, is in fact rather green.
"And another thing—this time, you don't get to leave me. I'm going to leave you."
If possible, that only makes me feel worse. I try to pretend it doesn't hurt, but I don't have the energy. "So go."
Julia settles next to me. "I will," she says. "In another fifty or sixty years."