No regretting allowed

charlie_su1986: 耶 今天可以回去嗑巧克力
charlie_su1986: 朝巧克力奔去

charlie_su1986: 好屌的信紙~~
charlie_su1986: 還是eka的字比較可愛~~耶~~~XD

charlie_su1986: 冰的比較好吃
mnjul: 那快冰吧
charlie_su1986: 是~
charlie_su1986: anyway thx a lot~~

Pretty much sure I can say I’ve never seen charlie talk with such enthusiasm on MSN or on Google Talk. Or probably even face-to-face?

When Eka and I came back from Calgary last year with my reminiscences of my friend (and the city) already accumulating, she suggested that the three of us get in touch more often, and he and I not just talk about geek things. So we formed a LINE group and I found, well perhaps surprisingly, that he could use intimacy. And then, on two different occasions, we sent, via expensive international mail, chocolates to him. At first, I wasn’t really certain he’d like it — after all, I actually didn’t know much his preference outside of the geeksphere, like for specific cuisines or clothes, and this ideation was further superimposed by the fact that he had no stomach. So when he expressly said he liked — and even enjoyed — the chocolates, I felt complicated.

It’s not that I’ve never mailed or brought goods to Calgary… but really, most of the time I did that because of nominal social etiquette, or because he specifically requested for them. But then Eka reminded me about how strenuous his life might have been — perhaps even before he got gastric cancer as we all know inharmonious lifestyles can contribute to cancer — and he’d never have enough many a friend, especially someone who’s been there for more than ten years yet has little conflicts of (whatever kinds of) interest. And then I kinda realized that I could have been bringing more humane sides of mine into our friendship and took more proactive care for him. And then it’s now all too late. What remains I can do nowadays is merely to internationally mail confectioneries — not even made by me — and probably a handwritten letter, and to chat within the same timezones.

But then, yeah, it’s always nonsensical to look back for the past decade and regret on doing too little. Just I’ll do more from now on.


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